Four generations

Four generations

Glad that we were able to celebrate this day.

It’s been a long while since I came on here last, a lot has happened in that time, the biggest and best thing was the birth of our grandson, born on 13th November 2013, unlucky for some, but not us, we were so glad to be able to celebrate his birth with all of the family including my mum who has found reserves from somewhere to keep going through her battle with cancer, to be able to pass Jasper to her was something that I will hold close forever, it was like time had gone in reverse, because it felt like the time I handed her her first grandchild. Then of course we had christmas which was wondeful, we had the priveledge of having our daughter, her partner and new baby to stay for the holidays, it is such a special thing to be able to share this time, it made the fact that our youngest daughter was absent so much easier, having your children fly the nest is so hard especially at holiday times like christmas.

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Baby wrap

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snuggle blanket 005After finding out that our eldest daughter is having a baby, I have looked at things I can make for it, yesterday via the web I found a baby wrap, it looked simple enough and came with a PDF pattern to download, putting it together was like a jigsaw it came on 8 separate pieces of A4 paper with no numbers to link, just the briefest of written links on 2 of the pieces. Well today I made it, it took me about 3 hours, most of that taken up by a sewing machine that did not want to feed the material through, to say that I am pleased with the result is an understatement, it looks fab even if I do say so myself, I even added a handmade label, that has a link to my name. My nan used to make all my dresses when I was small, I thought that it was too difficult and declined to pursue it when at school, what a mistake I made.

Where has the time gone

This time 24 years ago I was a new mum, and my husband was, I am sure, in a state of shock, you get handed a writhing, crying bundle, that you look at and think how do I know what this thing is going to need 24 hours a day for the next however many years? All I can say is that it couldn’t have been that bad because we did venture to have more, and our daughter is a well balanced, caring individual, who we are proud of!

Training to Thrive

I have found out that I will be attending a Thrive course through my work, to say I am pleased is an understatement, it underpins all the work that I do with the little people I have daily contact with, Thrive is a programme designed by a group of educationalists and psychologists, that aims to replace the missing emotional markers from a childs development from the age of zero to eighteen, so that they are able to learn, love and play without all of the stress that they normally have, below I have copied some of the information from the web site so that you may get a clearer idea of what it involves.

The six building blocks or developmental strands

Thrive™ uses a developmental framework to clarify the connections between emotional and social development, behaviour and learning. Child development can be depicted as six building blocks of experience, each with accompanying tasks and opportunities. These translate into six fundamental aspects of learning for emotional and social development:

Learning to be

Learning to do

Learning to think

Learning to be powerful and to have an identity (Power and Identity)

Learning to be skilful and have structure (Skills and Structure)

Learning to be separate and secure in your sexual identity (Separation and Sexuality)

These can be thought of as six areas of competence. Each area of competence has related tasks and desirable experiences to make the most of learning. The diagram above makes ‘learning to be’ or ‘being’ the foundation on which other experiences are built; this is the model that is used throughout the programme.

Sequential emotional development
As the child grows the developmental strands come ‘on-line’ sequentially – however, once they are in place, they remain available and open to growth throughout life. This means that our developmental tasks can be addressed at any point in our lives; we are truly life-long learners when it comes to brain and emotional and social development.

Recycling the tasks of emotional learning
The Thrive approach talks of this as ‘recycling’; we recycle our developmental needs as they arise and until they are met. Our changing circumstances throughout our lives also present us both with challenges to be addressed and opportunities to learn or relearn from our experiences. Until we are supported to understand and act in ways that are different from our familiar, predictable responses, we are likely to keep meeting similar challenges with the behaviours we have used before – even if they were not successful last time.

Developmental strands and learning needs
Each building block is linked to three learning needs. You can recognise the most urgent learning need by observing the young person’s behaviour. Thrive™ then recommends specific one-to-one responses and various teaching strategies, and explores the implications for the school as a whole.

Moods

I remember attending a course once in the dim and distant past, where the speaker was talking about moods, he said, and I quote, “when working with vulnerable/volatile children you need to take into consideration three moods, your mood, the mood of the child you are working with, and the mood of others around you, only now can I really see what he is talking about, on a Thursday I work with two other adults nurturing 2 children with emotional problems, one of the adults is wary of the children, and is unable to deal with some of the behaviours they display, and yes I do mean display, they do it to show us what they are capable of! Well this week we were being drawn in two different directions, all because one adult is edgy and wary of the children, they pick up on this nervousness, then both lose it at the same time, when there are 2 of them and three of us you would think it was easy, but no, not when they go in different directions and aim their frustration/anger at other children, you need to restrain them but cannot do it unless there is another adult who is willing to help, it’s a bit like being a lion tamer, and they should come with signs that say “beware these children can be dangerous!”, well all I can say is that we did get to the end of the day, but not all in the same place, and I was shattered. Just to show the difference, on Friday we had three children, 2 from the day before and one other who has multiple disabilities, with 3 adults, 2 from the day before and one other, all three of us are calm and relaxed around these boys in fact you could say we are almost horizontal, the afternoon was lovely, we had minor problems but containable ones, plus the bonus was that one of the children came and asked for a hug, which for him is a breakthrough.