Confused

So sorry for not posting anything on here for a while but have had a difficult few weeks, at the end of July we broke up from school for the summer holidays,the weather was beautiful, I had lots of days out and catching up with friends to look forward to. Two days later the devastating news came, my mum was diagnosed as having terminal cancer, myeloma of the pericardium to be exact, to say that it was a blow was an understatement, after undergoing 15 months of hell, with an abdominal wound the size of my fist after bowel surgery went wrong, we were looking towards the exciting future, a grandchild for me and my husband, and great-grandchild for my parents. We are still anticipating that mum will be here to see the new arrival, but it is all tinged with sadness, sadness because the outlook is that she will not get to see the baby grow into a little person with character, I hope that he/she had some of the get up and go that mum has,the resilience and strength that has seen her overcome so many setbacks during her life. Mum was born in 1943 to an unmarried teenage mum, who didn’t have the strength to stand up and be counted as an individual, so mum was raised by her Grandparents, and lived with her aunts and uncle, the eldest of which was 17 and the youngest 6 months old, my mum was called names and basically not treated very nice but became a wonderful person who is my loving and caring mum.

Advertisements

Fate

Do we create our destiny or follow our own fate, the paths we tread lead us in lots of different directions, but are we destined to go in the direction all mapped out for us, or go that way because thats the way we wanted to go? I ask this question at this time because my mum has been dealt a cruel blow, she had cancer of the small bowel that was removed, this has left her with a gaping wound that will not heal,the main cause was a thing called plasma cytosis, a former of blood cancer, it seems a very slippery slope that she is now on, one that makes her slip further away from doing any daily routines, just getting up to go to the toilet leaves her exhausted, she should be looking forward to her retirement years and the expected arrival of a great grandchild, but cannot, for fear of what is to come, I know for sure that she would not have chosen this route, but I still cannot see that it is her destiny!