A day of thought

Today 9 years ago I lost a very dear friend, she was taken suddenly, tragically, leaving behind a grieving husband, son and daughter, I’m lucky to have them in my life, they enrich it, her children are like my children, they are of a similar age as my own, when I am struggling with life, need to think or just switch off I go to the sea, here’s a little poem I wrote tonight while I’m struggling to sleep, I think it sums up what living by the sea does for me.

The wind whistles across the sand
taking me by the hand
calling those that can hear
“come closer, come near, for I have the power to take you away, just for a moment out of your day”
I sit, I listen, I close my eyes, all I can hear are the seagulls cries
wait, no, there’s a rhythmic sound, my heart beating into the ground
the pulse of the waves singing it’s song
even if it’s not for long
I’m healed, fixed, rejuvenated, whole again
this is the pull of the moon on the sea
the pull of the moon on me

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Confused

So sorry for not posting anything on here for a while but have had a difficult few weeks, at the end of July we broke up from school for the summer holidays,the weather was beautiful, I had lots of days out and catching up with friends to look forward to. Two days later the devastating news came, my mum was diagnosed as having terminal cancer, myeloma of the pericardium to be exact, to say that it was a blow was an understatement, after undergoing 15 months of hell, with an abdominal wound the size of my fist after bowel surgery went wrong, we were looking towards the exciting future, a grandchild for me and my husband, and great-grandchild for my parents. We are still anticipating that mum will be here to see the new arrival, but it is all tinged with sadness, sadness because the outlook is that she will not get to see the baby grow into a little person with character, I hope that he/she had some of the get up and go that mum has,the resilience and strength that has seen her overcome so many setbacks during her life. Mum was born in 1943 to an unmarried teenage mum, who didn’t have the strength to stand up and be counted as an individual, so mum was raised by her Grandparents, and lived with her aunts and uncle, the eldest of which was 17 and the youngest 6 months old, my mum was called names and basically not treated very nice but became a wonderful person who is my loving and caring mum.

Fate

Do we create our destiny or follow our own fate, the paths we tread lead us in lots of different directions, but are we destined to go in the direction all mapped out for us, or go that way because thats the way we wanted to go? I ask this question at this time because my mum has been dealt a cruel blow, she had cancer of the small bowel that was removed, this has left her with a gaping wound that will not heal,the main cause was a thing called plasma cytosis, a former of blood cancer, it seems a very slippery slope that she is now on, one that makes her slip further away from doing any daily routines, just getting up to go to the toilet leaves her exhausted, she should be looking forward to her retirement years and the expected arrival of a great grandchild, but cannot, for fear of what is to come, I know for sure that she would not have chosen this route, but I still cannot see that it is her destiny!

Training to Thrive

I have found out that I will be attending a Thrive course through my work, to say I am pleased is an understatement, it underpins all the work that I do with the little people I have daily contact with, Thrive is a programme designed by a group of educationalists and psychologists, that aims to replace the missing emotional markers from a childs development from the age of zero to eighteen, so that they are able to learn, love and play without all of the stress that they normally have, below I have copied some of the information from the web site so that you may get a clearer idea of what it involves.

The six building blocks or developmental strands

Thrive™ uses a developmental framework to clarify the connections between emotional and social development, behaviour and learning. Child development can be depicted as six building blocks of experience, each with accompanying tasks and opportunities. These translate into six fundamental aspects of learning for emotional and social development:

Learning to be

Learning to do

Learning to think

Learning to be powerful and to have an identity (Power and Identity)

Learning to be skilful and have structure (Skills and Structure)

Learning to be separate and secure in your sexual identity (Separation and Sexuality)

These can be thought of as six areas of competence. Each area of competence has related tasks and desirable experiences to make the most of learning. The diagram above makes ‘learning to be’ or ‘being’ the foundation on which other experiences are built; this is the model that is used throughout the programme.

Sequential emotional development
As the child grows the developmental strands come ‘on-line’ sequentially – however, once they are in place, they remain available and open to growth throughout life. This means that our developmental tasks can be addressed at any point in our lives; we are truly life-long learners when it comes to brain and emotional and social development.

Recycling the tasks of emotional learning
The Thrive approach talks of this as ‘recycling’; we recycle our developmental needs as they arise and until they are met. Our changing circumstances throughout our lives also present us both with challenges to be addressed and opportunities to learn or relearn from our experiences. Until we are supported to understand and act in ways that are different from our familiar, predictable responses, we are likely to keep meeting similar challenges with the behaviours we have used before – even if they were not successful last time.

Developmental strands and learning needs
Each building block is linked to three learning needs. You can recognise the most urgent learning need by observing the young person’s behaviour. Thrive™ then recommends specific one-to-one responses and various teaching strategies, and explores the implications for the school as a whole.